Lisagor: My crystal ball says...
If some of these predictions sound unlikely, it's not because my crystal ball exaggerates.
- By Michael Lisagor
- Jan 02, 2008
This is the fourth year I have looked into my crystal ball, which has considerable accuracy. To those who have complained about the veracity of my prognostications, I predict you will be struck by lightning. Sorry, I just call them as I see them.
Lisagor (firstname.lastname@example.org) founded Celerity Works in 1999 to provide strategic and business management advisory services and risk management training and coaching to government and industry executives. His book, “The Enlightened Manager,” can be downloaded for free at www.celerityworks.com.
- The government will implement Web 3.0, an entirely separate Internet and email system for spammers. No one else will have access.
- Someone will eliminate budget earmarks. A majority of elected officials will have nothing else to do.
- Federal Computer Week, Government Computer News and Washington Technology will accidentally run the same cover story.
- The Office of Management and Budget will give agencies yet another method to measure earned value. Agencies will again try to earn value.
- The Homeland Security Department will continue to use data mining to spy on underground workers.
- The Coast Guard will cancel a major communications project, but no one will notice.
- Britney Spears’ name will appear only once in FCW in 2008.
- Senators will continue to accuse the Drug Enforcement Administration of foot dragging. DEA agent arrests will increase dramatically as they are no longer allowed to drag their feet.
- Five major defense contractors will share 50 percent of the profits from the war on terrorism to fund agencies’ information technology security needs.
- In Florida, overseas electronic votes in the 2008 presidential election will be the only votes counted accurately.
- A new genetically enhanced biometric mouse will frighten so many government employees that the contract for it will be canceled.
- The collegiate football bowl selection committee will take over agency score cards.
- All government agencies will be entirely green by the end of the year.
- The Transportation Security Administration will continue to wish that it could use IT effectively to improve performance.
- Several agency inspectors general will be left out of the 2010 census.
- OMB will order agencies to eliminate 50 percent of all acronyms or be SOL.
- An annual 11-month continuing resolution will be institutionalized, thus rendering budget deliberations moot. Congress will permanently adjourn. IT implementation success will dramatically increase.
- The presidential election will be decided by a YouTube vote.
- I still will not have installed Microsoft Vista on my desktop PC. Nothing personal.