FlipSide: Bob-isms

Bob Woods has some lines he loves to say when he discusses government

We ran across this Federal Bytes item in the Sept. 27, 1993,
issue of Federal Computer Week:

Bob Woods, deputy assistant secretary of information resources management at the Veterans Affairs Department, said his staff has urged him to quit using the same old clichés to describe government inefficiency. At least that’s what he told the audience at a recent Electronics Industry Association seminar before reciting those same clichés.

We recently caught up with Woods, now president of Topside Consulting Group, to ask if he had any new words to the wise about government.

His favorites in 1993.

“The government is like a restaurant that closes at dinner time.”

“You can buy a car on Sunday, but you have to take off work during the week to get a government sticker for it.”

“People need to be four times as smart as us in
order to do business with us.”

His favorites in 2007.

“The alternative minimum tax is neither. It is not a minimum, and there’s no alternative.  I find it funny that our politicians talk about repealing it. I just want them to deliver on it.”

“Government officials refer to two airplanes or trains almost colliding as ‘near misses.’  I guess telling it like it is — ’near hits’ — is just too disturbing.”

 “I don’t like hearing that someone who spends beyond their authorized budget amount has gone anti-deficient. Doesn’t that mean they haven’t spent all their money? That’s a good thing.”

FCW in Print

In the latest issue: Looking back on three decades of big stories in federal IT.

Featured

  • Anne Rung -- Commerce Department Photo

    Exit interview with Anne Rung

    The government's departing top acquisition official said she leaves behind a solid foundation on which to build more effective and efficient federal IT.

  • Charles Phalen

    Administration appoints first head of NBIB

    The National Background Investigations Bureau announced the appointment of its first director as the agency prepares to take over processing government background checks.

  • Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla.)

    Senator: Rigid hiring process pushes millennials from federal work

    Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla.) said agencies are missing out on younger workers because of the government's rigidity, particularly its protracted hiring process.

  • FCW @ 30 GPS

    FCW @ 30

    Since 1987, FCW has covered it all -- the major contracts, the disruptive technologies, the picayune scandals and the many, many people who make federal IT function. Here's a look back at six of the most significant stories.

  • Shutterstock image.

    A 'minibus' appropriations package could be in the cards

    A short-term funding bill is expected by Sept. 30 to keep the federal government operating through early December, but after that the options get more complicated.

  • Defense Secretary Ash Carter speaks at the TechCrunch Disrupt conference in San Francisco

    DOD launches new tech hub in Austin

    The DOD is opening a new Defense Innovation Unit Experimental office in Austin, Texas, while Congress debates legislation that could defund DIUx.

Reader comments

Please post your comments here. Comments are moderated, so they may not appear immediately after submitting. We will not post comments that we consider abusive or off-topic.

Please type the letters/numbers you see above

More from 1105 Public Sector Media Group