John Klossner

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Announcing the winners of the FCW caption contest

The entries are in, and the most recentFCW caption contest drew an astounding number and variety of ideas. At the time of this writing, 77 people took the time to submit a caption for the drawing featured below. As would be expected, there were a sizable (33) number of entries that featured a reference to telework or working from home, but there were some surprises among the other themes that were featured. Here are some of the entries that caught my eye, followed by the "winners," a highly subjective list chosen by our judging panel of one.

Number of people who requested not to have their name or email included if their caption was chosen for fear of being caught being creative on agency time:

Number of captions referencing a government shutdown:

Number of captions including a Bill or Hillary Clinton reference:

Christmas (in March?) references:

Number of captions with a deathbed or last will reference:

The caption that leaves me unsure of whether I want to fly into Dulles (submitted by Rick Flanagan):
"The Dulles telework center."

The best sexually frustrated male caption (submitted by Tom):
"Don't apologize for scheduling this meeting. This is the most action my bedroom has seen in awhile."

The caption that stands the scariest chance of becoming policy (submitted by Paula):
"In an effort to reduce federal employee benefits, they have implemented Tele-Sick, where you can be sick in bed and still work. Each employee is now required to have ergonomic chairs, a whiteboard and a tempurpedic mattress in their bedroom in order to qualify."

The best anti-telework caption (submitted by Kate):
“We all thought our manager would bend on the telework issue when she was confined to bed rest. Boy, were we wrong!"

Right-wing jab (submitted by anonymous):
"Once upon a time the President said we will create more jobs and reduce the deficit ..."

Left-wing jab (submitted by LiberALL):
"Don't you dare complain about this to me -- you're the one who voted for the Tea Party to downsize government!"

Best caption if edited (submitted by Ralph Buck, shortened by me):
"Just ignore Harry, he's on an alternative work schedule."

Number of captions playing off of "let's put this project to bed":

My favorite pun caption (submitted by anonymous in Williamsburg):
"You're sure lying next to him qualifies as a HubZone?"

And the top runners-up, in no particular order:
"Thank you all for coming in on such short notice. Don’t mind Harold. He’s not a stakeholder."
-- Shelby in Washington D.C.

"Perhaps my role in this project is too 'pivotal'..."
-- Brandon Jubar in Washington D.C.

"So, Greg, How'd that CDC study on absenteeism among teleworkers go over on the hill?"
-- CJ

“So, to review our virtualization plan: As ISSO, Terry here goes into the cloud first, we wait for the green light from him, and then the rest of the team gets an Ambien, a cookie and a bedtime story.”
-- Michelle in Washington D.C.

"Let's do this quickly, I don't want to keep you from your families."
-- anonymous

"Sweetie I really think it's time that we finally get a computer."
-- Jim McKinnon in Odessa, Texas

"It has come to my attention that in many knowledge areas we may be one deep."
-- Barbara

And the No. 1 entry, submitted by Tamira in Auburn, Wash.:
"I put the printer in the bathroom so we wouldn't wake Dave."

John Klossner caption contest

Posted on Apr 07, 2011 at 9:03 AM

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  • Shutterstock image.

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    A short-term funding bill is expected by Sept. 30 to keep the federal government operating through early December, but after that the options get more complicated.

  • Defense Secretary Ash Carter speaks at the TechCrunch Disrupt conference in San Francisco

    DOD launches new tech hub in Austin

    The DOD is opening a new Defense Innovation Unit Experimental office in Austin, Texas, while Congress debates legislation that could defund DIUx.

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