FlipSide: Bob-isms

Bob Woods has some lines he loves to say when he discusses government

We ran across this Federal Bytes item in the Sept. 27, 1993,
issue of Federal Computer Week:

Bob Woods, deputy assistant secretary of information resources management at the Veterans Affairs Department, said his staff has urged him to quit using the same old clichés to describe government inefficiency. At least that’s what he told the audience at a recent Electronics Industry Association seminar before reciting those same clichés.

We recently caught up with Woods, now president of Topside Consulting Group, to ask if he had any new words to the wise about government.

His favorites in 1993.

“The government is like a restaurant that closes at dinner time.”

“You can buy a car on Sunday, but you have to take off work during the week to get a government sticker for it.”

“People need to be four times as smart as us in
order to do business with us.”

His favorites in 2007.

“The alternative minimum tax is neither. It is not a minimum, and there’s no alternative.  I find it funny that our politicians talk about repealing it. I just want them to deliver on it.”

“Government officials refer to two airplanes or trains almost colliding as ‘near misses.’  I guess telling it like it is — ’near hits’ — is just too disturbing.”

 “I don’t like hearing that someone who spends beyond their authorized budget amount has gone anti-deficient. Doesn’t that mean they haven’t spent all their money? That’s a good thing.”

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