FCW Forum: You know you've been a fed too long when...
The FCW Punch Line contest is now closed. We have compiled the 100-plus entries and forwarded them on to our guest, a long-time fed who retired at the beginning of 2007. We'll publish his top picks online and in the magazine on Jan.7. Meanwhile, we will publish the complete list of entries in several batches here at the FCW Forum. You can find the first batch here. Here is the next group:
You know you've been a fed too long when...
...You start calling your own car or truck a "vehicle."
...You hear the giant cockroaches in the Pentagon calling you by your first name.
...Providing information over the phone you give them the "Alpha, Beta, Charlie, Delta" for any letters.
...Your evaluation system is changing away from Pass-Fail for the third time.
...You have shoes older than the contractor-supplied whiz kid they hired to replace you.
...You go see the Nationals play the Rockies and find yourself wondering if the CR on some of the fan's hats stands for "continuing resolution."
...You know how many words per minute you can type, you've dealt with punch cards, or you actually remember when one had to take an aptitude test to be a civil servant.
...You no longer want to leave for opportunities in the private sector.
...You use a "while you were out" slip as a birth announcement.
...The number of years you have worked is greater than the age of your new boss.
...You remember Ronald Reagan primarily for how he handled the air traffic controller's strike.
...You look back at your career in 4 and 8 year increments.
...You just got rid of your 13-inch monochrome monitor and Selectric typewriter - yes!
...You know where the skeletons are buried, when you know when you retire, and when the Freedom of Information Act will dis-inter them — and smile.
...You wonder when your son's little league team will be giving the kids their performance reviews, because you would hate for it to come right before the playoffs.
...You refuse to accept the brand new television offered by the bank to open a new account, because of the appearance that it may have influenced your decision.
...You think what passes for customer service from your telephone company is normal.
...Acronyms are part of your daily vocabulary – at home.
...You stop using the terms “common sense” and “regulations” together.
...You actually believe you are under paid.
Posted by John Stein Monroe on Dec 26, 2007 at 12:12 PM