Hacker humor

Leave it to the man who prosecuted one of the world’s notorious hackers, Kevin Mitnick, to tell a hacker joke at an event.

Christopher Painter, cybersecurity coordinator at the State Department, told this one to the audience at AFCEA’s Second Annual Defense & Security MOBILE Technologies Symposium, held July 20:

A hacker is walking down the beach and he finds a lamp, He rubs it, and predictably a genie pops out. The genie says: “Look, you got three wishes but because you’re a hacker, there are some strings attached. Anything you wish for, other hackers gets twice as much.”

The hacker accepts the stipulations and the genie asks for his first wish. The hacker says: “I’d like a million stolen credit card numbers.” As his first wish gets fulfilled, he realized that every other hacker gets 2 million stolen credit cards, which irks him.

The genie then says: “Hurry up, what’s your second wish?”

“I want a Cray Supercomputer,” the hacker says, and he gets exactly that, annoyed by the fact that all other hackers will get the same the same but an even better one.

The genie says: “Hurry up, I got to get back to my bottle, what’s your last wish?”

The hacker pauses, thinks about his options and then deadpans: “I’d like to donate a kidney.”